SOLILOQUEY The great Mexican Adventure Had only one blatant censure: Do everything you ought 'a Just don't drink the water.

I thus was very careful To take only what was lawful To what was not I would howl "Please, senor, aqua mineral".

A microscopic perusal Prefaced each refusal. Is it good? Is it hot? Should I? I should not!

With cautious eye, I considered everything pre & post prandial Scientifically evaluating what my system would rate a scandal I refused to be a victim of the humor Of that ancient Indian: Montezuma.

I stayed alert every hour I was even careful in the shower! Neither sunshine bright or murky shade Would be occasion for this enemy to invade.

The slightest indication Of below the border reverberation Came while marching in the square. Moving too much, I wouldn't dare.

That night in the midst of sleep  The malady struck and slowly did creep With thunderous attack. I wondered "If that's that".

Then, a trumpet call, as might as Gabriel's Announced a combat which to fight I was unable I was depressed. I really fought 'er. I hadn't touched a drop of water.

In my midnight of despair I was cruelly made aware

My Constitution Had Pollution

The pains rippled my outers and inners (It must have been those banquet dinners) I tore from my pallet, threw open the door Ran toward the washroom. Ne'r touching the floor.

Ghastly scenes of the Alamo fight Raced before me while in flight. I felt besieged by Aztec warriors Fleeing down those awfully long corridors.

I experienced the pain of shot gun, grape shot. Felt indian knives, hatchets, and arrows white hot. Tortured.  Racked.  Beaten.  Sat upon. (Oh, Thank God, I made the john).

The aches and hurt were beyond description A veritable hell is the best depiction. The Indian Warrior smiled at his conquest Revenge was rendered on another gringo guest.

The dust had settled. The battle 'twas o'er. "Lo" said he, "There is one pain more". A barbarous laugh belched forth cruel. There was no paper on the spool!

You may wonder with what creativity I overcame this horrible travesty Alas, that secret will die with me That's why I've called this: soliloquey.